This Dog Eats Five Burgers At Once...You Won't BELIEVE What Happens Next!

The Gharial

Today's Animal of the Day is the Gharial, a crocodile found in northern India. It has a distinct long, thin jaw which it uses to catch fish. It grows to an average length of 15 feet and an average weight of 400 lbs. The Gharial is the only crocodilian species with sexual dimorphism, meaning the dudes look different from the girls. Male Gharials have a knobby growth at the end of their snouts, the function of which is not well understood. Some speculate that it plays a role in breathing or sound production, but it's 
probably just for looking damn sexy.

The Kunekune

Today's Animal of the Day is the Kunekune, a breed of domestic pig found in New Zealand. In the Maori language, 'Kunekune' means 'fat and round', which is also what they used to call me in high school. This breed of pig is relatively small, hairy, and short-snouted. Its most distinctive features are the wattles that dangle under its neck, which are usually only seen in certain birds and goats. The wattles are functionally useless and probably just serve as a fashion statement.

Here are some little Kunekune piglets and their mom. (WARNING: super cute)

The Secretarybird

Today's Animal of the Day is the Secretarybird. It is a large bird of prey, or raptor, found in sub-Saharan Africa. Unlike other raptors, the Secretarybird mostly stays on the ground and is also quite large, standing ~4 feet tall and weighing ~10 lbs. Snakes comprise a large part of the Secretarybird's diet, since it has a keen ability to kill them with its talons. In fact, its scientific name is Saggitarius serpentarius, meaning Archer of Snakes. Pretty badass.

[video of the Secretarybird's strut]

No one is sure why the Secretarybird is named as it is. Some say it's adapted from 'saqr-et-tair,' an old Arabic word meaning 'hunter bird.' Others say it's because the bird's head plumage makes it look like old English secretaries who kept quills behind their ears. Or maybe it was just some lonely scientist who saw the bird and imagined a secretary with long legs and a short black skirt.

Some lonely scientist named Wilson.

Oh god ;_;

The Pudu

Today's Animal of the Day is the Pudu. It is the world's smallest deer, only growing to about 15 inches (38 cm) in height and 33 inches (84 cm) in length. It is found in the rainforests of South America, which more or less by default means it's an endangered species. Also, as something that's both a "world's smallest" and a deer, it's preyed upon by pretty much everything. So the Pudu is really not having a good time nowadays.

Here's a baby Pudu and her parents.

Reno

I always joked that Reno was going to live forever, and that I didn't know what he'd do after I died. Obviously I was being facetious and knew that this day would come, but I didn't expect it so suddenly. This is a basic rundown of what happened. 

> For the past year or so, Reno was getting incontinent and kind of wobbly on his back legs, having trouble with stairs sometimes. Otherwise he was normal, bright and happy as always, so I chalked it up to old age.

> Two weeks before we were supposed to leave for Canada, Reno was diagnosed with a bladder stone. The vet and I decided it would be better to get the surgery done in Canada, instead of putting Reno through a long car ride while he was recovering.

> Two Mondays ago, Reno got the surgery. It was successful and he started peeing normally, though he was still groggy and wouldn't move around so much. For the rest of the week he seemed to slowly return to his normal self, even being playful and jumping around towards the end of the week.

> Something happened between Friday night and Saturday morning, and I don't know what. On Saturday, Reno lost a lot of function of his hind legs. He wouldn't get up and just lay down all day. When I picked him up to put him outside, he would just collapse onto his butt and then lie back down.

> The next Monday I brought him back to the vet clinic. The vet x-ray'd his spine and found spondylosis at three vertebral junctions. This is essentially arthritis in the spine - two neighboring vertebrae try to join together which pushes up on the disk which then pushes up on the spinal cord, affecting motor function and causing pain.

> The doctor prescribed muscle relaxants and painkillers, in lieu of extremely expensive and traumatic surgery.

> Again, Reno seemed to be ok throughout the week. He was still nowhere near his normal self, but his front half was bright and alert. On Thursday he even stood up on his own when I put him out in the yard.

> On Friday afternoon, I gave him a tiny amount of an herbal supplement pill, then went back to class. When I returned home at night, Reno was passing bloody diarrhea, and trying and failing to move around, clearly in pain. I upped his painkillers as per the emergency on-call vet.

> This morning, Reno was still very clearly hurting. I brought him back to the clinic. The doctor presented the option of either putting him through more testing, drugs, and pain, or ending his misery. I chose the latter.

I don't know what happened last weekend that caused his motor function to plummet, and I don't know what happened yesterday that caused the bloody diarrhea. I really don't think it was the herbal pill. Three doctors have looked over the ingredient list and said it should be fine. Numerous testimonials claim that the stuff really works and have improved their dogs' motor function. So unless Reno had a very rare, specific, and severe allergy, I don't think it was the medicine.

One of my friends said it best - it seems like a bunch of shit that shouldn't have anything to do with each other just happened to occur in sequence. While I would like to know exactly what happened, right now it's the end result that I'm stressing over.

Here's my theory. I think Reno realized that I should be spending more time at school, but saw that I always ran home to be with him. So he decided to move on, because that's how selfless and awesome he was.

He had a good life, I hope. He's lived in Taiwan, USA, and Canada. In his near 14 years he's been to three countries and three hemispheres. I took him to as many different parks and trails as I could, to give him plenty of things to sniff and pee on. I am glad he was able to see more of the Northeast and the Maritimes, and I'm glad he made a lot of friends here on PEI. When we were at the Beach BBQ, all the other dogs were too busy chasing each other up and down the water, but Reno was smart - he sat in girls' laps and got them to feed him. Anyone who knew him knew that he had magic powers; all he had to do was look at you and you'd be compelled to give him all your food.

To Reno

Goodbye, my dearest friend, my inspiration, my wingman, my brother, my boy. I don't know what I'll do without you and it terrifies me. But I know I'll be fine because you've taught me well. You never feared the unknown; you just walked right into it with your head held high. And even if in the darkness there was a stupid fat neurotic bulldog who pounced on you, you just shrugged and walked it off after. You showed me how to take things as they come and just be calm and chill in general. If I can be half the man that you were, I'll consider myself a success.

You had many friends in both the US and Canada, and you were known by all as "the best." Everyone loves you and everyone will miss you - myself most of all.

It was a brisk and sunny day today, which was always our favorite. I'm sure your spirit has moved on from here, though. I wish I knew where you've gone. I never thought much about the afterlife and which one I believe in, but Elysium sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Endless fields to run around in. Just don't run too far, so I can find you again when my time comes.

Wilson and Reno's Northern Adventure

Wilson: We're off on an adventure!
Reno: To new lands, new horizons, new life!
W: Yea!
R: Yea!

*half an hour later*

R: Uh. Why are we still here?
W: It's the freakin' Outerbridge. Even when we want to leave Staten Island for good it has to be difficult.

*Wilson and Reno eventually make it over the bridge and drive for a few hours*

R: Your phone keeps repeating the same songs.
W: Yeah, the shuffle function sucks. Even worse, it keeps playing Home by Michael Bublé, and Alone by Heart. It keeps reminding me that I won't see my friends and family for a very long time.
R: Is that why you were crying earlier?
W: What? No. I just had something in my eyes.
R: Yeah, that something was tears, you bitch.
W: Shut up, Reno.

*they continue traveling, then pull over for a break*

R: Hmm. What is this strange new land?
W: This is Massachusetts.
R: Why does it smell like terrible manners and inferior sports teams?
W: That's Boston.
R: Let's keep moving.

*they continue on for a few more hours, until Reno gets hungry*

R: Stop sign! That means stop and give me kibbles.
W: Fine, here.

R: Ok I'm full. I'll drive now!

*Wilson shoves Reno aside and continues driving, making it to Maine in the evening*

W: This place is gorgeous! No wonder Jean loved it here.
R: Dense forests on either side of the highway. If this was an older time, this would all just be one giant forest.
W: Then I'd be traveling with sword in hand, and you'd be my direwolf.
R: Yea! I love this place!
W: It's beautiful beyond words!

*night falls*

R: WHY AREN'T THERE ANY STREET LIGHTS OH GOD
W: THERE'S ZOMBIES OUT THERE WE'RE GONNA DIE
R: Screw it, I'm going to sleep.

*Reno falls asleep, leaving Wilson to drive for hours in the darkness. Alone by Heart comes up on shuffle again*

W: Uh. I think I took a wrong turn somewhere.

*Wilson avoids going to China, as he has done all his life. They eventually make it to their hotel in Bangor*

R: Huh? Is this our new home?
W: No, dingus. This is just a hotel. We'll make it to the new place tomorrow.
R: Oh. Can I sleep on the bed?
W: No that's mine. Find your own place to sleep.

*The next morning, the two head out and prepare to leave Bangor, and happen upon an enchanting sight*

W and R: We found it! We found the source!

*Wilson and Reno grab some bacon then reach the border. There, the border officers make Reno wait in the car, since their drug sniffing dog is in the building. Wilson regretfully leaves Reno in the heat then goes inside to wait to get their papers cleared. Forty minutes later, Wilson emerges.*

W: Ok dude, we're done here. Sorry for the wait. I met a cool couple from Alaska, though, Alice and Nathan, and they had a very smiley baby named Lily. Isn't that funny? Our Lily back at home is such a bitch, but this one was cute and friendly. Maybe if--

R: SHUT UP AND TURN ON THE A/C

*They continue driving in Canada and taking in the new sights, one of which is this confusing road sign*

R: What is that? A sapling coming out of the ground and growing in a spiral?

W: Beats me. I hope someone reading this can explain what it is.

R: Reading what? Are you using more pictures of me to garner facebook likes, under the pretense of just keeping a photo journal?

W: Maybe.

*Reno gives his best condescending, disapproving look*

*Reno and Wilson eventually make it to Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, and settle into their new home.*