Reno: To new lands, new horizons, new life!
W: Yea!
R: Yea!
*half an hour later*
R: Uh. Why are we still here?
W: It's the freakin' Outerbridge. Even when we want to leave Staten Island for good it has to be difficult.
*Wilson and Reno eventually make it over the bridge and drive for a few hours*
R: Your phone keeps repeating the same songs.
W: Yeah, the shuffle function sucks. Even worse, it keeps playing Home by Michael Bublé, and Alone by Heart. It keeps reminding me that I won't see my friends and family for a very long time.
R: Is that why you were crying earlier?
W: What? No. I just had something in my eyes.
R: Yeah, that something was tears, you bitch.
W: Shut up, Reno.
*they continue traveling, then pull over for a break*
R: Hmm. What is this strange new land?
W: This is Massachusetts.
R: Why does it smell like terrible manners and inferior sports teams?
W: That's Boston.
R: Let's keep moving.
*they continue on for a few more hours, until Reno gets hungry*
W: Fine, here.
R: Ok I'm full. I'll drive now!
*Wilson shoves Reno aside and continues driving, making it to Maine in the evening*
W: This place is gorgeous! No wonder Jean loved it here.
R: Dense forests on either side of the highway. If this was an older time, this would all just be one giant forest.
W: Then I'd be traveling with sword in hand, and you'd be my direwolf.
R: Yea! I love this place!
W: It's beautiful beyond words!
*night falls*
R: WHY AREN'T THERE ANY STREET LIGHTS OH GOD
W: THERE'S ZOMBIES OUT THERE WE'RE GONNA DIE
R: Screw it, I'm going to sleep.
*Reno falls asleep, leaving Wilson to drive for hours in the darkness. Alone by Heart comes up on shuffle again*
W: Uh. I think I took a wrong turn somewhere.
*Wilson avoids going to China, as he has done all his life. They eventually make it to their hotel in Bangor*
W: No, dingus. This is just a hotel. We'll make it to the new place tomorrow.
R: Oh. Can I sleep on the bed?
W: No that's mine. Find your own place to sleep.
*The next morning, the two head out and prepare to leave Bangor, and happen upon an enchanting sight*
W and R: We found it! We found the source!
*Wilson and Reno grab some bacon then reach the border. There, the border officers make Reno wait in the car, since their drug sniffing dog is in the building. Wilson regretfully leaves Reno in the heat then goes inside to wait to get their papers cleared. Forty minutes later, Wilson emerges.*
W: Ok dude, we're done here. Sorry for the wait. I met a cool couple from Alaska, though, Alice and Nathan, and they had a very smiley baby named Lily. Isn't that funny? Our Lily back at home is such a bitch, but this one was cute and friendly. Maybe if--
R: SHUT UP AND TURN ON THE A/C
*They continue driving in Canada and taking in the new sights, one of which is this confusing road sign*
R: What is that? A sapling coming out of the ground and growing in a spiral?
W: Beats me. I hope someone reading this can explain what it is.
R: Reading what? Are you using more pictures of me to garner facebook likes, under the pretense of just keeping a photo journal?
W: Maybe.
*Reno gives his best condescending, disapproving look*
*Reno and Wilson eventually make it to Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, and settle into their new home.*
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