Saturday, September 21, 2013

Reno

I always joked that Reno was going to live forever, and that I didn't know what he'd do after I died. Obviously I was being facetious and knew that this day would come, but I didn't expect it so suddenly. This is a basic rundown of what happened. 

> For the past year or so, Reno was getting incontinent and kind of wobbly on his back legs, having trouble with stairs sometimes. Otherwise he was normal, bright and happy as always, so I chalked it up to old age.
> Two weeks before we were supposed to leave for Canada, Reno was diagnosed with a bladder stone. The vet and I decided it would be better to get the surgery done in Canada, instead of putting Reno through a long car ride while he was recovering.
> Two Mondays ago, Reno got the surgery. It was successful and he started peeing normally, though he was still groggy and wouldn't move around so much. For the rest of the week he seemed to slowly return to his normal self, even being playful and jumping around towards the end of the week.
> Something happened between Friday night and Saturday morning, and I don't know what. On Saturday, Reno lost a lot of function of his hind legs. He wouldn't get up and just lay down all day. When I picked him up to put him outside, he would just collapse onto his butt and then lie back down.
> The next Monday I brought him back to the vet clinic. The vet x-ray'd his spine and found spondylosis at three vertebral junctions. This is essentially arthritis in the spine - two neighboring vertebrae try to join together which pushes up on the disk which then pushes up on the spinal cord, affecting motor function and causing pain.
> The doctor prescribed muscle relaxants and painkillers, in lieu of extremely expensive and traumatic surgery.
> Again, Reno seemed to be ok throughout the week. He was still nowhere near his normal self, but his front half was bright and alert. On Thursday he even stood up on his own when I put him out in the yard.
> On Friday afternoon, I gave him a tiny amount of an herbal supplement pill, then went back to class. When I returned home at night, Reno was passing bloody diarrhea, and trying and failing to move around, clearly in pain. I upped his painkillers as per the emergency on-call vet.
> This morning, Reno was still very clearly hurting. I brought him back to the clinic. The doctor presented the option of either putting him through more testing, drugs, and pain, or ending his misery. I chose the latter.

I don't know what happened last weekend that caused his motor function to plummet, and I don't know what happened yesterday that caused the bloody diarrhea. I really don't think it was the herbal pill. Three doctors have looked over the ingredient list and said it should be fine. Numerous testimonials claim that the stuff really works and have improved their dogs' motor function. So unless Reno had a very rare, specific, and severe allergy, I don't think it was the medicine.

One of my friends said it best - it seems like a bunch of shit that shouldn't have anything to do with each other just happened to occur in sequence. While I would like to know exactly what happened, right now it's the end result that I'm stressing over.

Here's my theory. I think Reno realized that I should be spending more time at school, but saw that I always ran home to be with him. So he decided to move on, because that's how selfless and awesome he was.

He had a good life, I hope. He's lived in Taiwan, USA, and Canada. In his near 14 years he's been to three countries and three hemispheres. I took him to as many different parks and trails as I could, to give him plenty of things to sniff and pee on. I am glad he was able to see more of the Northeast and the Maritimes, and I'm glad he made a lot of friends here on PEI. When we were at the Beach BBQ, all the other dogs were too busy chasing each other up and down the water, but Reno was smart - he sat in girls' laps and got them to feed him. Anyone who knew him knew that he had magic powers; all he had to do was look at you and you'd be compelled to give him all your food.

To Reno

Goodbye, my dearest friend, my inspiration, my wingman, my brother, my boy. I don't know what I'll do without you and it terrifies me. But I know I'll be fine because you've taught me well. You never feared the unknown; you just walked right into it with your head held high. And even if in the darkness there was a stupid fat neurotic bulldog who pounced on you, you just shrugged and walked it off after. You showed me how to take things as they come and just be calm and chill in general. If I can be half the man that you were, I'll consider myself a success.

You had many friends in both the US and Canada, and you were known by all as "the best." Everyone loves you and everyone will miss you - myself most of all.

It was a brisk and sunny day today, which was always our favorite. I'm sure your spirit has moved on from here, though. I wish I knew where you've gone. I never thought much about the afterlife and which one I believe in, but Elysium sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Endless fields to run around in. Just don't run too far, so I can find you again when my time comes.